What happens if I die without a will?

Here’s the controversial truth: dying without a will doesn’t mean you have no plan. It means your state legislature wrote your plan for you, and I guarantee they don’t know your family or care about your specific wishes. Every state has intestacy laws that dictate exactly who gets what when someone dies without a will.

Spoiler alert: these default rules rarely match what people actually want.

The Intestacy Formula Nobody Asked For

Intestacy laws follow rigid formulas based on your marital status and surviving relatives. Married with kids? Your spouse typically gets a portion (often half to two-thirds) and your children split the rest. No spouse but parents still living? Everything might go to your parents instead of your siblings or—and this surprises people—your long-term partner you never legally married.

Single with no kids? Your parents inherit. No parents? Siblings. No siblings? It keeps going down the family tree to cousins, nieces, nephews and increasingly distant relatives you might’ve met twice at family reunions.

The state doesn’t care about who helped you through cancer treatments or who you considered your real family. Blood and marriage certificates determine everything.

[Note to self: state-specific variations are HUGE here]

What Your Partner Gets (Or Doesn’t)

Unmarried partners get absolutely nothing under intestacy laws. Zero. You could’ve been together 20 years, own a home together, raise kids together—doesn’t matter. Without marriage or a will, your biological family inherits everything while your partner gets shut out completely.

This hits domestic partners, LGBTQ+ couples in states where they haven’t formalized their relationships, and people who choose not to marry for personal or financial reasons. The law doesn’t recognize your relationship regardless of how meaningful or committed it is.

Your shared home? Becomes part of the probate estate if titled only in your name. Your partner could literally be evicted by your relatives who inherit the property. Ouch.

When the State Takes Your Kids

If you die without a will and you’ve got minor children, the court decides who raises them. Not you. Judge someone—probably someone who’s never met your kids—reviews petitions from relatives and makes the call.

Sure, they consider what’s in the children’s best interest. But they’re working blind without your input. Maybe your sister would be the perfect guardian, but if she doesn’t petition quickly, your kids might end up with your parents who are in their 70s or an estranged relative who happened to file first.

Courts also appoint someone to manage any inheritance until kids turn 18. This person controls money you left behind, makes investment decisions, and handles expenditures. You get zero say in who that is or how they should use the funds for your children’s benefit.

The lack of control is honestly terrifying when you think about it.

The Probate Process Gets Messier

Dying without a will means intestate probate, which is typically longer and more expensive than probate with a will. The court has to determine heirs, verify family relationships and appoint an administrator (since you didn’t name an executor).

Administrator appointments can get contentious fast. Multiple relatives might petition for the role. The court holds hearings. Family fights spill into public record. What should be a straightforward process becomes—well, a mess that costs money and strains relationships during an already difficult time.

Timeline? Figure 12-24 months minimum for intestate probate, sometimes longer if there’s any complexity or disputes. During this time, assets are frozen and families can’t access funds even for legitimate expenses.

Distribution Nobody Wanted

Intestacy laws create unintended consequences constantly. Here’s real scenarios I’ve seen:

• Estranged father who abandoned the family inheriting equally with siblings who provided actual care
• Second spouse receiving portion of estate while adult children from first marriage get the rest, creating immediate conflict
• Disabled beneficiaries receiving outright inheritances that disqualify them from government benefits
• Minor Teenage beneficiaries getting lump sum distributions at age 18 with zero restrictions

None of these outcomes required malicious intent. They’re just the default results when intestacy laws meet real-life family dynamics.

Hidden Costs That Add Up

Beyond the obvious probate fees and attorney costs, intestate estates create financial drains people don’t anticipate. Court-appointed administrators often charge fees. Bond requirements cost money. Multiple court hearings mean multiple billable hours.

Family disputes over who should inherit—when intestacy laws don’t match what people believe you would’ve wanted—lead to litigation. Estate contests. Lengthy court battles. Legal fees that consume significant portions of the estate before beneficiaries receive anything.

(Side note: I once saw an estate reduced by nearly 40% through legal fees and court costs because siblings couldn’t agree on distribution and the intestacy statute wasn’t clear about the specific family situation. The irony? Their parent could’ve avoided all of it with a $500 will.)

What You Can’t Control Without Planning

Intestacy doesn’t just determine who gets your stuff. It eliminates your ability to:

• Name a guardian for your children
• Specify how and when beneficiaries receive inheritances
• Leave anything to friends, charities or non-relatives
• Minimize estate taxes through strategic planning
• Protect assets from beneficiaries’ creditors or divorcing spouses
• Create trusts for disabled beneficiaries
• Express your wishes about funeral arrangements or medical decisions

You’re leaving all these critical decisions to state law and court discretion instead of making them yourself.

The “I Don’t Own Much” Myth

People think intestacy doesn’t matter because they’re not wealthy. Wrong. Even modest estates create complications without wills—maybe especially modest estates where probate costs consume a larger percentage of available assets.

Your belongings might have more value than you realize. Life insurance. Retirement accounts. That paid-off car. Personal items with sentimental value that family members will fight over because you never specified who should get what.

It’s not about being rich. It’s about being intentional.

Bottom Line Reality

Dying without a will means surrendering control to intestacy statutes written by legislators who don’t know you, administered by courts that don’t care about your family dynamics and resulting in distributions you probably wouldn’t have chosen.

The good news? A basic will costs $300-$1,500 and prevents virtually all of these problems. That’s roughly the cost of a fancy dinner out—except this meal protects your family’s future instead of disappearing in three hours.

Stop procrastinating. Get a will. Your family deserves better than leaving this to chance.